Why being right can be so boring


10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Today we’re going to take this right/wrong discussion to a whole new level. We’re going to give up the whole need to be right and conclude that the only “right” version of what we’re looking at together is what the other person actually sees. In other words, I’m going to give up my need to be right for the more noble cause of taking up the other person’s perspective.

Being right is narcissistic. It’s all centered around me. It’s forcing everyone around me to see what I see, when, in fact, my life could be greatly enriched by seeing things from the other person’s perspective.

In the cartoon above, both people are looking at the same number and seeing different things. These two people could argue until they are blue in the face that they are looking at a “6” or a “9” when, in fact, they are both right. It’s all about perspective. However, you don’t get that perspective until you are willing to leave your point of view and listen to or look at someone else’s.

My wife is dyslexic. She often sees things upside down. She could be looking from the “6” point of view and actually seeing a “9.” She talks about this as an advantage — how she can play chess or checkers and flip the board in her mind’s eye and see what the other person sees. Would that we could all be dyslexic in this manner. So what if I prove I am right? All I’m saying is that my perspective is the only one there is. It’s limiting. I’m limiting my reality to only what I can see. But what if someone sees something I don’t see? Then I will be expanding my reality to see from their point of view. This is what it means to climb into someone else’s shoes. You learn to see what they see. You broaden your perspective. You can see why being right can be so boring.

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11 Responses to Why being right can be so boring

  1. TOM says:

    When I take inventory- I’m just looking at my side of the street and being honest about what I see. When I’m wrong or what I did was wrong I promptly admit it. I don’t explain or make excuses. And If what I did caused harm I can make amends right there and then.

  2. This is a risky – even dangerous – platform when people compare and/or confuse “right versus wrong” with “truth versus falsehood”.
    Lord, please grant us the wisdom to know the difference and to respond in a manner that honors You appropriately and best…

    • Sandie says:

      You raise a good point Bob. I’ve been in that situation and I had the choice to make a truth vs. falsehood situation into an “I’m right, you,re wrong” scenario. I want so badly for someone to get a point spiritually right, that I forget about the other person’s humanity and dignity and blow right by The Holy Spirit’s caution sign.My being in a leadership position at those times only made it worse. I am only responsible for presenting truth with love – whether they ‘get it’ or not, is not my business; that’s God’s territory. And when I ignore Him, the cleanup is humbling.

  3. Mark D Seguin says:

    As Henry Ford once said (has reported in “How to Win Friends…”) a Mark paraphrase: Seeing things from the another’s point of view is a great gift.

  4. Sandie says:

    Here’s another comment heard on TV that could come into play – “Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right.”

  5. Jesus Aguilar says:

    Today my heart rejoices as I am reading all the sharing on the post.
    We needed the 10 step real bad. I am so glad we are in it.
    Right or wrong we live under one God and by His Grace we love one another as He commanded us to do. Praise God and thank you for your participation.
    Jesus Aguilar

  6. John A Fagliano says:

    The cartoon also illustrates another problem. Both are so focused on what they think they know that they’re not willing to investigate any further. What if, near by there was a 5 or 7, 8 or 10 that were oriented a certain way? That would help them resolve their conflict. Being “right” can be a blindness that hinders people from venturing beyond what they “know”.

    • Jesus Aguilar says:

      John, my brother thank you for shining the light
      Minds get closed when the obsession takes over.
      Jesus Aguilar

      • jwfisch says:

        Your welcome, Jesus. Thank you for adding so much to this study from your experience.

  7. johnhaak says:

    Here is the Bible passage that goes along with this. I miss some of these so maybe it has been brought up already? Apologies if so.
    “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”
    Phil. 2:3, 4 [NLT]

    Great stuff you all.

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