Still working on my inventory

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So this morning, with two more days left on Step 5, I figured I’d better do my moral inventory (Step 4, and procrastination is definitely on my list of character flaws) before I can share it with someone (Step 5). It flowed pretty easily only because I’d been thinking a lot about what I would put down. I did discover that once I got started, a number of other things I hadn’t thought about came to mind. As we’ve said before, and as veteran AA people have confirmed, this will be a running list. We’ll be continually adding to it, and perhaps we’ll be able to take some things off in time, although it might be good to keep them there since we are often prone to relapse.

Then there were the interruptions. One of our dogs is in heat and poor Teddy, our male chihuahua, doesn’t know what to do with himself. I’ve got him in a room by himself and he’s whining and scratching the door. I’m not sure this is going to work. Then the phone rings and it’s my daughter from Hawaii. I think about letting it go, until I realize that it’s 6am and it could be serious, plus I just wrote down in my moral inventory that I don’t care enough about my kids, so I pick up the call and she says, “I was just on my way home from work and wanted to hear your voice and tell you I love you.” Grace is a good thing.

But Step 4 and Step 5 in two days? AA people will probably consider that an insult. This would be a good time to make it clear again that we are not officially submitting ourselves to the 12-Step program. That would take regular meetings with a group and a sponsor for each of us. But we are exposing ourselves as much as we can to the process to see what we can learn which will be helpful to our spiritual growth — and there is much.

So you can take this as far as you want. Me, I’m working on my inventory and I plan on sharing it with one person and myself (God’s already seen it!). I am finding out that it is a little easier to face myself today knowing what’s there and what I need to work on. And like Anne’s call, the best part of this is knowing God’s grace covers me regardless. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even want to look.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

For those of you who might have missed yesterday’s Catch, here is an important message about our prayer ministry.

I want to call your attention to our prayer ministry. I think we have a tendency to forget from time to time that the Catch Ministry is much more than a blog. A big part of that “much more” is a prayer ministry with a dozen Prayer Warriors praying around the clock and over 300 PrayerPartners who have been touched by this ministry and want to be included in all the prayer needs as they come in. We have noticed, however, that if we don’t remind you, the requests can start to drop off. The prayer button and the encouragement to use it kind of falls off the bottom of the Catch and no one sees it anymore. The fact that fewer requests come in can’t be that there are just no new needs for prayer. We can only assume you forget we’re here for this. Hopefully you haven’t lost faith that prayer makes a difference. Those 300 PrayerPartners? They stay on as partners because they have had prayer answered and they want to pray for your needs now. I have been taking care of an 82-year-old lifelong atheist who in the last few weeks has been opening up to God like a flower in springtime. To what can you attribute that except that we have been praying. Prayer changes things. We are wasting valuable resources if we are not making use of this incredible team. So I am just assuming that you forgot and need a little push. We’re here and we’re waiting. Click here to leave a request.

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1 Response to Still working on my inventory

  1. Jesus Aguilar says:

    Dear John, it is testing time for you and it is for me. I do not see any responses, it is kind of dismaying, but regarding your sharing I will say that we take the steps, some of us on a fast mode and some of us on slow mode, but no body does it perfectly, and you see we are perfectionist and we strive for a perfect forth step. There is no such a thing. Consider that the forth step is taking by memory, memories due to resentments, failing to perform to certain standards, acting blindly regarding the sex instinct given by God. So we encourage our new comer to go on and we shine the light on the results, giving him a reason to go on. Hope this is helpful. Let is not give up. God we need your help here. Thank you

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