In some circles and most certainly in our family, my wife, Marti, is known as the Princess of Power and Control. She even has a pseudo-business card with that title printed on it. I’m not sure when this moniker was first applied to her, but I can guess that it came from her years as an executive in the business world, and it most likely came from those who had to work for her. She is a hard driver who expects the impossible out of people. This is not because she is a particularly mean-spirited person. It’s because she drives herself extremely hard and cannot fathom, for the life of her, why everyone around her does not operate with the same intensity as she does. Marti will throw her whole being into something and wonder why everyone is standing around watching her.
It’s especially hard on our marriage now that she is running the Catch, because that means I am working for her, and my laid back personality is a constant source of frustration to her, while her high expectations drive me nuts. One thing I know for sure, is that no one around Marti thinks of her as a person with any needs. She’s always strong, always on top of it, always engaged, and always “there” when you need her. It’s like her switch is stuck in the “On” position and the power level is stuck on “Full.”
I’m writing about her because either you are like her, or you know someone who is. I’m sure our friend Mark, who is an expert on personality types, has a name for it, and I hope he shares it with me, because he also may have some advice as to how I can cope with this. But I do know that one part of Marti’s personality carries a particular curse with it. No one considers her needs. She’s always operating at such a high level that no one stops to think that she might have her own inadequacies, fears and insecurities. Where I might isolate myself in my inadequacy, Marti can become isolated in her adequacy, and no one even surmises that she might waver at all in her determination. After all, she’s the Princess of Power and Control.
But here’s the thing I realized as I was thinking about this last night: Marti may be the Princess of Power and Control, but that means one important thing — she’s still a princess, and one thing I know about all princesses is that they need to be rescued from their tower by a brave and dashing (musketeer?) on a white horse. As strong as she might appear, she’s still a princess trapped in a tower, and there’s a dragon somewhere that needs to be slain. My job is to find the dragon and kill it. You’d think I would have done that by now, but I think the dragon has lots of lives and it keeps coming back. Killing the dragon may, in fact, be a daily thing.
What about you? You must fit into this story somewhere. Maybe you need to come down from your tower and admit your vulnerability. Maybe you need to stop being everything to everybody. Maybe you need to strap on your sword, step into the power of God, find a dragon and slay it. Maybe you are the dragon. Maybe you have lots of power and control, but it’s your power and your control and not the Holy Spirit’s. Whatever you need to do, there is help to do it. God never asks us to do what He won’t empower us to do.
And speaking of empowerment, we have four new MemberPartners to welcome who are going to be helping sustain the Catch now and in the future. Please welcome Dana, Laquita, Nancy and James! That brings our total for the month of May to 15 new MemberPartners. That means we need only 85 more to reach our goal. Sound impossible? Not with God, with whom all things are possible. Better hurry up! Only three more days!
Until I get my feet on the ground, you are my lifeline. I do not have much but I am a MemberPartner. – Gladys