Eleven years into it

Our son Chandler turned eleven yesterday. We went out to dinner last night and celebrated as a family. When we got home, I went to a piece I had written about Chandler when he was 18 months along (“Me, Adopt? Why I decided to become a dad all over again at age 52” http://www.fischtank.com/ft/articlesdetail.cfm?articleid=6). I wanted to see how the things I had written then had held up over the last ten years. I found out they had done quite well.

Here’s a sampling:

“I look into his eyes and see someone who has always belonged to me. Every time I look at him I am flooded with thankfulness that God would grace us in this way. Up until his birth, I thought we were doing our son, God, and the world a favor. Now I realize we are the ones upon whom the favor has been bestowed.

“I get it now. I get it so much more than I did 20 years ago with my first two children. I get the value of life. I get the importance of those moments spent with total concentration on the activity and thought processes of a child. I get it that a child returns to us the meaning of the moments in our lives.”

…and here’s the point:

“God watches each one of our lives and personalities unfold before him with the same satisfaction that I watch my son grow. Yes, there is much to bring God sorrow in the world, and yet there is much that brings him joy. I’m convinced of this, or else he would not have bothered with us in the first place.”

We didn’t “have” Chandler; in a very real way we chose Chandler. Just like God has chosen you and me. He chose us to be part of something we don’t even realize yet – something far more wonderful than any of us could imagine or dream. Are you game to live it out? Are you ready to put it all on the line? Look at the picture here of our 10-year-old, and tell me that isn’t worth everything you could put into it. This is serious business. This is life, and life eternal. I don’t want to mess any of it up. I don’t think you do either.

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9 Responses to Eleven years into it

  1. Kellie says:

    My older brother is adopted so this message has always resonated with our family. Over the years he fell away from being active in the church and has since come back and joined the Catholic church. I can tell that for him, God is finally more real than He’s ever been. I know he knows the real meaning of adoption, even in a way I won’t ever experience. Thank you to all who have the strength and calling to adopt!

  2. Cathy says:

    John, thanks for posting the picture…you write about Chandler so often and I’ve wondered what he looked like. I can’t believe how much he looks like you! I’m only comparing the two pictures on the screen – but wow! I have 3 kids (8, 12 and 23) and a grandchild (6 weeks)…children are truly a gift from God and I’m so glad he chose me to be the mom (and Grammie) to these wonderful gifts!

  3. Lois Taylor says:

    I am the same age as you are, John, and I was adopted at 8 weeks of age. That was a long time ago. I ALWAYS knew that I was wanted by my parents. We weren’t a wealthy family by any means. What we lacked in money we more than made up for in love. I vividly remember our group hugs…mother, daddy, and I. Those hugs mean more to me now than they did all those years ago.
    Showing love, especially God’s love for us, is the most important thing any parent can do for their children. And choosing a child is a prime example of showing God’s love. As long as Christ is at the center of your family, you can’t “mess it up.”

  4. angela bowman says:

    And he sooooo looks like you! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Gina says:

    That’s wonderful. Adoption is a great thing. Happy birthday to Chandler!

  6. Robert Wermuth says:

    re: We didn’t “have” Chandler; in a very real way we chose Chandler. Just like God has chosen you and me. He chose us to be part of something we don’t even realize yet – something far more wonderful than any of us could imagine or dream.

    Exactly. As God’s children we are all “adopted” sons (and daughters) and given His name, privileges, blessings and responsibilities (Rom. 8; Eph. 1 ff.).

    “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
    nor the heart of man imagined,
    what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor. 2:9)

    My last child (also now 11) was born 8/30/99. I was almost 49. She’s not adopted by me, but offered up to the Lord as a covenant child within a believing home.

    Thanks for sharing your story!

    St. Louis, MO

  7. Ann says:

    John, I must tell you….Chandler looks JUST LIKE YOU – I saw the resemblance immediately! I think God must have even a BIGGER hand in all of this than we truly know! The children of this world are definitely the “light” in our lives – thank God for them! : ) And, thank YOU for sharing this beautiful story with us.

  8. Priscilla Fraser says:

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. My son was born on 9/9/69, and our family too had a birthday celebration yesterday. So whether 11 or 41, our sons are truly God’s special gift to us.

  9. My comment vanished into the ether. I was going to say, adoption is a great thing. Good for you, and a very happy (belated) birthday to Chandler.

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